Actually I wanna type in chinese but then it really difficult for me to make it....now only I knew that I am useless in lot of matter, just everything..feeling down down down recently and wondering how to express me feeling, my jie jie had suggested me to express it through dairy then only I realize that I have my own blog so why not I do it here...
He changed a lot, I wonder is he the one who changed or actually he is still the one I love most ..I am falling in the confusion now!! I miss the feeling that we use to be together and the sweet feeling being together...but I wonder if we can still have chance to make it dream come true..love those sweet romance!! I dont need a full stop in our love story..I really dont need a full stop in it!!!
想回到过去
试着抱你在怀里
羞怯的脸带有一点稚气
想看你看的世界
想在你梦的画面
只要靠在一起就能感觉甜蜜
想回到过去
试着让故事继续
至少不再让你离我而去
分散时间的注意
这次会抱得更紧
这样挽留不知还来不来得及
Love this song so much now...!!
I know actually I am lying and pretending that I can let go him and everything but I am so sorry to my dear jie..I cant make it !! I love him so much until I dont have the strength to live without him..although he hurt me, I am still that love him..I afraid to being hurt, hate the feeling much..He said he wont feel regret if break up with me (freaking hurt), he said he dont like me to bother and talk too much about his thing (hurt)-I am just trying to help him sometime, I dont wan he do load of those useless step to get thing done, I have lot idea for him to get thing done in easier way but he just dont wan listen to me ..I have told him that his attitude cant apply in driving, is freaking dangerous, I dont want to lose him, I cant see him in pain, I will get heart attack as well!! LOOK..what I should do when he tell me all this thing, should I just let go him so that I wont feel that hurt when he tell the same thing to me next time...or should I try to forget everything then slowly 回到过去..?? he have told me to forget everything and he is the one who can forget everything he did to me then act normal like that matter din happened before..unfortunately, I am stupid sin lan that cant make it, every single word he said will be in my mind and heart forever..is like impossible for me to forget those word he had said!!! I need more time ..
I wanna to be happy...but how?? he have changed means everything changing..I have given all my heart to him..should I still believe in true love for great romance..He is definitely not good in romance matter now but why last time he can make it ?? is that because he boring to have those romance with me?? or?? WAITING is the hardest thing in world, I have waited for him to date me for movie..I have waited him to buy me Jay's album, I have waited his family to visit my parents actually, I have waited him to come to me and ask me that "will you marry me"..other than that, promise is the worst thing as well..he have promise load of thing to me, wanna bring me to klcc, wanna date me for movie, will not make me cry anymore, will always listen to me first...ETC...lot more he have promise..can you please define promise?? promise simply defined as =To make a declaration assuring that something will or will not be done..so if he promise to do that means he must do it right?? promise causes hope, expectation...then if he break his promise means he break my hope!! do he know that??
I am still wondering what should I do next!!! god, please lead me to the best way..I cant even leave him for single minute now..I wanna to be with him every single minute and second..I know my jie jie will disappointed when saw these<<< she sure started to scold me "stupid"..I know I am stupid in this thing but I thought this is why god created the word "love"...give me some time to make sure that should I still believe true love will bring happiness to me forever..I will try to change also!! Really exhausted this few days..love the feeling of drunk, mmuackhh...drunk drunk drunk....drunk make me feel like I am getting the whole world..wahaha!!! going to bed soon..hope thing change and get back to last time when I awake in the morning..I have new wishes for my birthday , which is I dont wan any symbol of full stop in my world..go away form me!! Missing my parent so much now..time pass faster please and thank you!! have a good night..to everyone and my lovely jie jie!!
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