Painfulllllll...........

Another busy week...huhh...I dunno what should I do now...How can I help him??...My final exam is on 10th of DEC, but I din even touch the text book or everything yet...I am just thinking how to find money..For my kl and hong kong trip..and for him too...I actually collecting money for my further study in Australia, but now got little problem that cause me stop thinking about australia...I really wanna leave malaysia as soon as possible ..I wish Ms Christine could arrange all my major subject for my next semester..because I hope can finish earlier and make decision faster..I hate to live in Malaysia anymore..anyway, His problem is my problem too...I dunno why he dont wan to share the problem together..may be the feeling of sharing is over..I really wish I could share with him what ever is it...if in poor life, we can work hard together..if is sad, we can talk together...this is LOVE...But one hand cant clap..so, I cant do anything..just try hard to help him...
Hahaz...past few days was really a memorable and enjoyable days...spend time with my best friend, HARN, RUIGIE, ALICE, and LAW...singing...hehez...I really like to spend time with them to forget my sadness and those problems..Previously, when singing with those girl, they dont like to rap my husband(JAY) song....but when singing with harn and law..they can rap with me..hahaz....RUIGIE and Alice like so shy to sing de..hahaz...espeacially TANRUIGIE...then, that day HARN and RUIGIE sing "xuan zhe"...I feel little jealous...and of course I felt so sweet to see them like this..I wish I can too..but..anyway, I know who I am now...hahaz..behave ok...I really wish their relation will last forever and ever..I can only continue wishing people to get the best partner or lover in their real life...Because I am always living in the dream..which I wish I will not wake up any more..hahaz...
Today, I went to oasis to do the eyeliner tattoo..huhhh...damn pain pain...beauty KILL...Sometime, I am wondering that some of the will suffer for thier beauty...is it really important.??of course I wanna to be pretty too but I afraid of pain...hahaz....I rather to be normal..hahaz..after the tattoo session then me and alice went to MF...hahaz..huhh...weight increasing but some of the CM decreasing lolz...I dunno is it a bad or good news for me...is weird rite?? weight increase but CM decrease..I thought it should be the same...I mean if this increase then that will too...hahaz..After MF, we went YC with dear hong hong, law and joei wei...damn syok...we use to say diet diet diet but we will end up with food in our stomach..hahaz..Then, we start to "chui shui" , "blow water" ....hahaz...keep chatting...Alice is the one who always break the rhythm..hahaz...coz she is cinderella...which must go back house earlier ..if not her mum will turn to tiger or lion lolz...to "DIU" her...While blowing water, I received his msg...which stated" take more rest and good care"..huhh..I dunno what to reply so I just delete it as usual..coz I dont wan to make myself to think those impossible thing..hahaz..smart rite?? Actually I am happy to see that msg..but is it mean anything??? is just a msg rite?? friend sending msg to another friend to concern bout her...huhh...yaya..I should think this way..haiz...
After send the CINDERELLA back then I went to pray..I saw Chasel, my dad's best friend which is a handsome man...hahaz...his little tummy is growing slowly le..hehez...he askes about him again...then he tell me that he is so busy and doing another part time job at night...hmm..mmm...My hurt feel so pain to heard about that...Why he do that??I thought I already tell him to take more rest and dont make himself too tired coz I will help him..I promise will help...no matter what...so pls..god bless him...
Tomorrow is saturday again..nightmare starting...tough weekend again...coaching for the whole day in the damn hot court and facing those CLEVER kids...huhh...nightmare nightmare...hahaz...so I think I need to rest my painful eye..if not I wonder how my eye will turn to..hahaz...dear alive and ruigie and harn and law and hong..I sudden missing you all so much now..all of you are part of my life now..hahaz...nite nite ya...and good nite to him too...wish him will have a very good rest and sweet dream..

I am SORRY....

Today is really a special day for me...so no matter what happen or how tired I am, I must blog...should start from early in the morning...I read newspaper and saw his name in a competition..he won so I wish him for the next match...I send message to him and said good morning and add oil...he do reply me...and wish good morning and thank you...then i din reply anymore....till afternoon I and 15 of my player's went cinema watch MADAGASCAR..escape to africa..hehez...is quiet funny..after that, we went capcom again..and play again, it is really crazy...but is very happy to get high with them coz they are kids..so when play with them will make me forget everything and focus on their smile face..I like it so much..while we are playing, I tookout my fon to check what the time..then sudden I saw 2 miss call from the one I wish to see...then I am thinking should I call back..At last I call back ...Then he asking where I am and what I am doing??..actually I wanna answer that I am with my new BF but I din do that..I tell the truth..and then he said will call me back at night..
The whole afternoon I feel so weird and dunno should wait his call or not...how if he din call me back..and if he call me back what should I say..Is very very headache..I went YOGA with the other dear pigs and hope can forget everything...I do...I can do it..But when we are on the way to yam cha, dear alice sudden ask about him lolz...huhh...It make me start thinking again...Then when reach home, I lepak with my 2 little cute brothers..then start continue my drama, "lan qiu huo"-hotshot..the actors is damn handsome and cute..cool...hahaz...I falling in love again..while watching that and laughing at there, sudden a call in..wow..is he ..I pick up and start our convezation..I am so sad about that..I misunderstood everything..But he should tell me earlier about that..I dunno what he is thinking actually, because of his problem then give up me..why?? Or because of other problems too?? Anyhow, we are friend now..I will still help you..my whole family will always support you too..Just focus on what you should do now and dont think too much..I had mention 27th of DEC ...so I am wondering that is he still remember what is the meaning of the date..But if he forget already also nvm..we are friend, for sure he no need to remember that..and he like not feeling well..my heart got little pain and I am worry...Pls, god bless him...
Lastly for my blog is...I regret that I din tell him I MISS YOU...I am thinking that should i tell??...I am really missing him so much actually..huhh..take it easy..I needto continue my great drama now and need to go bed soon..good nite and sweet dream to him and my 2 little dear pig...All of them will be my very best friend in my whole life..I love them so muchie...So, GOD must bless them...

Refreshing...

Lazy for few days..hahaz....not in blogging mood too so "lepak" for few days..so, back on track now...i went to the kiwanis center with alice's sis (sue mei)...I am so so happy to see them smiling...they are actually very cute..I hope that no one wil boycott them...for those who boycott them is actually stupid than them..
Next update will be my dear GIGI...I send her to saloon...she is botak now..hahaz...with big head like "THE DOG" damn cute actually..and is wearing shirt too so that she wont get cold easily with less "MOMO"..lolz..and she just get the final injection today..huhz.....need to pay again..doctor somemore suggest me to buy the medicine to pretect her heart..lolz.damn expensive pulak...but nevermind lolz...as long as GIGI healthy and happy then enough lolz..because I am falling in love with her so muchie..
Then is about my dearest grandma..she getting weak and enter hospital to reload bullet(blood) again..until now the doctor dunno what happen to my grandma...i wondering what the hell they doing for so long time to check this and that,but no result pulak..I feel very heart pain to see her suffering like this...how??? She always feel very very pengsan...izzit kidney problem?? I am worry....The doctor should do something or take action to reduce her pain..Please help her...check it out faster...god bless her....
Next update should be my feeling, thought and everything...hmm...I think that i'm getting better in everything...Ms.christine helping me to ask mr.chan about my furthr study in Australia...I am still waiting for the answer..That day chat with chee yuan's mum..and she gave me lot of opinion...we should make lot of friends...not enemy..so I hope he can put away everything and be normal...I hope that we are sill friend..I feel like want to call him but dunno what will he think..and also dont know what to say lolz..But I am still missing him so much, and will keep deep in my heart..evrything is ok..and I realy hope that I can leave malaysia as soon as possible...This few days I am not feeling well...drink less water and sleep less too..haiz...so damn tired and weak...huhz...today, alice and pig gie go for belly dance..I am the most lazy one..hahaz..go eat with family then come back here sit, watch, play, blog...hahaz...I am going to be the fat-est pig..hehez..haiyooo...Eat can make us smile...happy..so we must keep eating and stop dieting..agree???hahaz....they will kill me after read this blog..lolz...
29th DEC may be will plan to go hong kong...hehez...new year trip lolz..quiet expensive..is about 2400++...but nevermind because fully sponsor by my mum...hahaz..Time pass very fast..espeacially for this year..huhh..i cant even breath..getting old and getting stupid..lolz..haiz..sometime i feel that he took away all my knowledge and my thinking talent...anyway, I can still working very hard to be the smartest one..gambateh ya..is time for drama..good nite everyone and have a sweetest dream ya..

Half way YOGA....

Life still goes on....Today I woke up at 7am, wow...dont know what happen to me...I should wake up at 11am because i dont have morning class to attend...headache..I lying on bed and start thinking of something..someone...I dream about it again and again..God, help me...Can God create my dream..at least dream about lam fong, or jay or some other handsome lolz..hahaz...Everytime I think about him will make me feel so down..I cant control my thinking and feeling..After thinking, then i slept back at about 9am...till 12something..I feel myself like PIG...anyway, I love those PIG feeling because when I'm sleeping only can make me stop thinking...but dont dream about that again la..dreaming sometime will make me feel more tired...because everytime when awake from dream, for sure I will start thinking again..lolz...
I went class on 2pm...then after class, me,giegie and alice went to general hospital to visit my grandma..yup..she enter hospital again..haiz...but dont worry, she look strong enough to fight..hahaz..
After the visiting, we went to have dinner with my mum..I ate mee curry...wow, is delicious..hahaz..After dinner, we went for YOGA..shit...I feel so spicy when I'm jumping...And feel the curry goign to come out from my stomach..hahaz..3 pig go YOGA after dinner..We play while the teacher is teaching so hard..hahaz...we dont even care..Then after all those warm-up, we decide to quit...hehez...half way work that make us more fat...we went Ms.Christine's house to fetch her out to yam cha..hahaz...luckily she at home...Then we chat about my further study information..still need to wait for reply..I'm wondering when can I leave Malaysia..haiz...I dont wan to stay here...pls..let me go...
Tomorrow is another free day for me..and I decide to bring GIGI go for saloon..cut all her hair..hahaz..become botak...No matter how is GIGI, I will still love her very much..hehez...Is quiet late now, I guess Worms Alice is still rushing for her Account's work..hahaz..gambateh ya dear...Trust yourself that actually you're so smart like GIGI...hahaz...Ruigie sure sitting or lying like pig pig..and me going to watch drama as usual..Lastly, I am missing him so much now..Good nite and swwet dream...tomorrow is another great day for all of us....I wish that will happen to me too..

Tough Weekend...Happy begining of week...

Wow...feel a bit relax after weekend...I still have a lot of weekend to go...huhh...damn..I cant describe the how is the feeling of tired during my weekend..coaching for the whole day in the court which is damn hot inside there..somemore need to face all my little kids..The damn "CLEVER" kids..Nowadays, the kid is much more smart than last time de...you will not know what they actually thinking..huhh.dangerous...This weekend, my uncle not in, so I have to handle all those stuff include the competition which organized by Macheline tayar..I need to settle the shecdule, the umpire and etc for them to complete their competition...of course they pay for the services that we provide...Hahaz..No money no talk rite..I strongly agree with the statement..hoho...when finish my last session of coaching on sunday, then need to rush to visit my grandma and have dinner with her...chatting arround..after the visit, we went to another grandma's house to visit them too..My finish my time on those visiting all my little cute grandma and grandpa..I love those feeling...feel so sweet and nice when see them smile...I love them so much..
My daddy brought a new laptop yesterday..huhh...window vista, somemore the shape damn sharp..I love it so much lolz..feel to change laptop with him but I still love mine laptop so much..stupid rite??....never mind..I will wait for the next chance and the latest technology..hahaz...Daddy, you should ready your wallet for my next target lolz...dont be selfish lolz..
This weekend, i got not much time and energy to think about him..or may be I'm just forcing myself not to think..I am tired in pretending to be happy...I need some other thing to focus on it...Pretending is not a good idea..I am actually very very tired for the whole month..but I dunno what is the reasons that make me cant sleep and rest well...I am trying very very hard..
And today is monday...a good begining for the week..hahaz..but I wake up late again..dont worry..I'm already ues to sleep late and late for class dy..at least I am in the class rite..haiyooo...I am just watching movie while the lecturer acting in front of us..I watch Stephen Chow's movie..hahaz..damn funny de..always like crazy girl that sudden laughing like no one there...lolz...Today, My stomach complaint at me that I am eating too much ...hahaz...after class we ate the tomyam mian fen gao, then after that we had snack and some choc..then we go buy kuih-muih...after kuih-muih, we went pasar malam pulak..i ate burger, abang-balik,and soya drink..huhh...until nearly vomit man....Till I can feel the fats is surrounding me..scary man..hahazz...anyway, I am happy with it(eat)...hahaz..
After the eating session, we went gym la...then the 2 pig went for belly dance...hahahahhahaha...I keep laughing like hell lolz...they shy to shake they pig's ass wor...They should be dare to shake out their fat lolz.haiyooo..Belly dance is actually very hard to learn, they need to be very soft and must dare to shake lolz..I sure cant do that so I din join them..I am just sitting down there and laugh lolz...The 2 pig keep standing there and watch others because they are LAZY LAZY...hahaz..actually they tried their best already but it is really difficult to learn in one day...They plan to prepare for next year OB nite..So, for those who wanna see pig's belly dance then dont micc the golden chance ya...Buy the ticket and prepare plastic to vomit while watching them..hahaz..joking, dont angry ya..I believe that they will work hard and SMART for next year OB nite..gambateh ya..I will always there to SUPPORT YOU...hahahahzz..
Another day that missing him from the dark hole..I feel my world is getting darker..I really need someone to pull me out from the darkness...anyway, I need to thank my best friend that alway there for me..I love them more than i think..mmuackhh..I need to go bed otherwise, tomorrow I going to miss the bored class again lolz...hahaz...good ntie friend..good nite to him..sweet dream...

KiCk B0x!nG...

This is my dear cousin, Tan Teck Yang...We use to call him, Yang Yang..He is damn cute actually but very naugthy too..I need to take care of him for 3 days because his daddy not in..wow...it is really a night mare for me..he cant even sit for more than a minute...crazy boy and super active boy..shorten my life...hahaz...But anyways, he is really cute ...I actually love him so much..hehez..

3 Little pig went for KICK BOXING yesterday...hahaz...That is really funny...we keep punching each other..The teacher got no comments, and going to be crazy..hahaz..is actually very nice session..It is almost the same with the "Agerlity" in badminton..But "Agerlity" is much more tired lolz...I encourage girls to learn kick boxing, it can protect ourself from the "HAM SUB" people...What we learn in the session is kick kick here and punch punch there...Then, the ruigie thought the teacher dunno that she keep curi tulang ...haiyoo...Dear ruigie, you cant hide your pig's body de ok.trust me...dont be lazy pls...Then, somemore the alice pretending like very hardworking lolz.hahaz....But she better than ruigie lolz..then, me is the most lazy pig for sure..But the teacher wont bother me anyway because face problem..lolz..Another case is, I dunno what is in my face that make ruigie keep laughing like crazy pig..haiyooo..be serious a bit la..May be I will wear a mask next session..hahaz..We have to be serious , if not the teacher will chase us out of the class...ok...

Today I bath GIGI..My daugther..haiyooooo....damn naugthy de..Make me sweat lolz...keep shaking here and there..then when using hair dryer, she trying to jump away..haiz...Do there any easier ways to bath her??? really nees help from professional..But anyway, I love her so much..She is so cute when eating, running, playing and everything but not when beating..lolz...hahaz...

About me...I cant describe what is the situation now..But I feel that I am chagging again, anyway, I wont bother how am I now..hahaz..coz no one going to care about that too..so do I...I cant live without Jay's song..It is really touch my heart..Currently, I love the most is "Shuo Hao De xing fu ne?" It is singing what I am thinking and feeling..Damn meaningful..and I really afraid of the lonely feeling..The music will be with me every single second when I am alone..I like to turn on very very loud when I am alone in the car, it make me feel like I am also in the music..It's really enjoy..Today, I went to east coast and pass through one optical shop..I am thinking that he said he love that spec..I am thinking about him somemore..How can I run away from the stupid world..I am pretending to be very busy and happy everytime..but how long can I do that...I started to feel tired of it..I hate myself..I wanna be good girl...pls, allow me to do that..I am confusing now...I dunno how should I be..should I just do what ever I want to make me happy??Will I really get the truly happiness ?? anyway, I think I should not think too much..I should get out from the stupid world in the shortest time..God bless me...hehez...

Just came back from TC, went there for nasi lemak lolz..hahaz..saw few "GIRLS" that is so so "PRETTY"..blekz...hahaz... but actually is boy lolz..they cut off their banana to be gal..lolz..Tomorrow is another tired day for me...coaching again for the whole day..hahaz..So, I have to go find Jay's grandfather lolz...Nite friends..DEAR ALICE AND RUIGIE..love ya so much o..

Yog@....

Best friend........................................

We organize a farewell party for Mr,Jayan...He going to leave us soon..He will back to India on Friday....I am going to miss him like crazy...He is a very good lecturer, he like to do lot of reading, he has a lot of examples...It is actually very boring to listen to all such examples, but it actually help us a lot in exam..Thank you so much, Dear Mr.Jayan...he help me a lot in completing my assignment..He has a lot of ideas, I respect him...His brain is full of Knowledge...not Worms.haha..I wish Mr jayan will remember me forever and ever..I love him so much...God bless you...

After the party, We went for Yoga class together...haha..first time...Me, Dear Alice and Dear pig ruigie....Yoga is actually very difficult thing for me....Stretch here and there until whole body feel damn damn damn tired...haha...At first, when we start to warm up..the yoga's teacher do lot of the silly action..haha..shaking the ass and all that..then I just follow what she doing, The ruigie lookingat me and keep laughing...haha...damn..She cant even control her emotion..But it is really fun ...I feel very happy to be with both of my best friend...Family is my first choice, then will be my best friends...I actually treat them like my family member...I love them so much..I wish they feel it..I hope to be with them forever...

My youngest brother went kl for badminton competition..I pass the letter and somthing for my uncle ...I need him to pass it to him...I dunno what he will think after read that..Today I am quiet happy..but then also missing him lolz..I will give 50 marks for today...coz...I be with the busy boy for few hours..haha...Actually I still have a lot of questions, and feel to tell in the letter but I think it is useless to tell all of that ..He is so stupid de till dunno wat I am telling..Nevermind...Take it easy..hahahazzz..Today I saw Aaron in studio..We have few mins conversation...He is actually very cute...He look very tired today, he need more rest lolz...hope he rest well and take good care of himself ya...gambateh in work too...

huh..feel sleepy already...because of the yoga..make me feel bad..haha..It is good also la...so that I can sleep well and tight...Nite nite friend...miss ya so much yop....

today's life...

Yesterday nite was busying with dear alice so din post a blog..I feel so happy to chat with her sister, I will not think too much when chatting with her, no pressure too...I can feel the truly hapiness..Anyway, I actually very scared to post blog yesterday because I get very low mark for yesterday...Is just pass, 40 marks...Because I am thinking too much..till get headache...

Today I feel very happy to see my grandma getting better..she able to scold me somemore..haha..laughing like crazy..she ask about him...she ask why he din come for long time...Then i tell her the truth...she look sad..i explain to her ...may be i will call him to come to see my grandma, but just dunno how to open my mouth..I hope may be he can spent some time to come to see her..she getting old...and I Just wan to do what she wan...I hope she feel happy and smile every single second..

so, today...I will give myself 50 marks..i wrote a letter for him...I dunno what will he feel after read it..anyway, it truly from my heart...and it may be will be the very last time..hehez..everything will go back to zero soon..I can concentrate on otherelse...which he will not look at me too...haha..he always busy..but no one know what he actually busy at...other than that, I am now busy in planning our kl and genting trip too...happy to plan tat...I really hope all of them can go and have fun together..it must be damn fun and happy..haha..hope the time pass faster..I need to watch drama with my lovely mum now...so stop here...Missing someone so much...Nitez....

tiring day....

I hate sunday...It drive me crazy..extremely tired of coaching and also shopping, haha...it is quiet late now, I just done Ruigie's assignment and watching to the live badminton match..I am confusing on something else..secret...i dunno how to handle my feeling and thought..may be it is uncontrollable, but is ok la coz I am not going to control it..let it flow in my brain, heart and every part of body lolz..

My secret sweet guy in my life, Joe...I am missing him so much now...he is a nice and sweet man..I missing the time when we spent together, I kept deeply in my little heart...He is always there for me whenever I am sad or happy..haha..dont misunderstood..he is already married..he treat me as his daughter...I am so sorry to swept him away for few months, I got my own reasons...pls forgive me on that ok...Dear Joe, I am so sorry bout tat...

Today, my mum told me to call him and tell him to separate my fon line with his one..hmm...I ask my mum to call him by herself..But i dunno she will do that or not..I dunno how to tell by myself..This make me think of him again..so I am not in a very good mood now, but luckily  need to focus on RuiGie asignment so I dont have much time to think about that...The mark that i can give myself is 55% for today..I am not happy with that..hate hate..I have to work harder to get higher marks..anyways, I can feel the care from my parents..I love them so much...Lastly, I have to pray for my grandma again...Pls help her...God...bless her...

I need to go bed now..tomorrow have ITSM class to attend on 9.30 am..damn early lolz...hope my dear dear Alice can wake me up..thank first ya...Nite everyone...wish nite to him too..and sweet dream...hope to hear from you...take care...

I had a BAD day..

Today is Jeremy's birthday..Happy birthday to you...so sorry that i got no time to buy you a present..I wish all your dreams will some true ..

My grandma enter hospital again ..I really feel very very down to look at her weak face..When I look inside her eyes, I can feel that she is very sad and painful..I feel like crying..but I have to be strong in front of her, I need to have energy to think of some jokes to make her smile..I am tired tired tired...Can someone just lend me his or her shoulder for me...I need someone to beside me now..I have to be stronger to against my grandma's virus..what the hell is in her body, how come the doctor haven check it out...??? I am now missing my grandma so much, and feel to go hospital to see her, but she is in the govenrment hospital so i cant simply go in..haiz...I need to pray for my grandma, Please ..God can you help her?? I love her so much, and I wan a happy and healthy grandma...I dont wan to see her in pain and the sad face, I will feel so so so extremely sad sad sad...

Today i did very poor in my feeling...I will give myself 50 marks..I feel so moody so need someone to talk to, then i think about him again...Then, my daddy's friend, chasel called me and ask about the racket, he asked me about him again..Then, just now i went to my player's(Chia yee)'s house, her dad ask about him again again..I tell all of them the truth...then I keep on thinking the past..I know i should not think that already, but I cant control my thinking very well..I need more time to let go...I hope tomorrow I will get higher marks..lolz..haha...

And now I am missing my dear dear Alice so damn much..din see her for one day only, but I feel that is already 1 week time..haha...And mr.wei hong...He will back tomorrow lolz..So excited to see all of them in monday...haha..This month is the saving and dieting month for me, alice and ruigie..haha...3 fatty dum dum girl wanna save for Dec vacation..dear friends, we gambateh together ya..haha..dont break the promise wor..I think I have to come out some rules and regulations for this month..For those who break the promise then have to pay for the bus ticket..haha..is about money again, so I think we will not simply break the rules...it is very expensives punishment lolz..haha...Tommorow have to wake up early in the morning to coaching again, is another tiring day for me..That is a good way for me to stop thinking too..Stop here to continue my drama and on my way to find Jay's grandpa(zhou gong)..haha..nite nite and have a sugar dream ya..love u guys...