Too much!!!!

There sure be something happen when I wanna start my blog every time..sigh..include this time, my neighbour need our help because they forgot to bring their key, huhh....help them to break into their house and now decided that I must put some words here no matter what on tonight...
These day I have too much thought that keep appears in my mind, just too much until I can well digest all of that..I never thought that I am perfect, I never thought that I am as bad luck I am in this year, I also never thought that I am a lucky girl because since I was young I never fully achieve what I have target, include a very famous Badminton Champion, a very pretty girl, lot more...just cant get through all this thought, BUT...slowly tell myself that I am lucky to have a family like this, all of them take very good care of me, love me and for sure I love all of them so much too...I love my dear dad and mum, my eldest bro, 2 of my lovely cute younger bro...and of course GIGI..and I gonna thank god that gave Chong to me..although he is not perfect as other but for me that is enough, love him so much actually, just so much that word cant describe..thank god...I definitely a lucky girl when I think of my grandma, grandpa, uncle and aunt ...they love me so much too..especially my grandma and uncle, they do lot of things for me..thank you very much and love them so much...I am lucky to have friends like alice, weihong, ruigie, law, sheau yueh and lot more...best friend ever..and not forgotten my powerpuff team, jeslyn pang and amelia..I am already a lucky girl for all this, not everyone have this opportunity...I have it...I should appreciate this..
This year is not my year so there sure be some problem occur...I really cant accept what have god gave me once I knew that..cant believe something growing inside my body, just dont wan to accept that happened..too down too sad at that time, but after I settle all those thought, I am totally fine and happy to accept that...I know I am not strong like those time but sometime I will not think of how worse my body or energy is, I will still work and keep think, I afraid that I cant do all this thing when something come to the end..I must show all my love to all of my love ones..
One thing I really hate is "going for doctor alone"..I just hate going hospital alone and I need to bear all the problem alone..can someone promise me that will accompany me for doctor every time I need ...I dont like the feeling to be alone now..nowadays, I need to take quite lot medicine in a day..huhh...in this age already need lot medicine, sometimes I will feel fed-up with my self and those medicine..I am sad but no one know..they keep telling "no worries, u sure need to have all that because u r sick now"...huhh...I dont wan to be sick lolz..who can help..I guess no one gonna help me on this..
I am happy that I am actually a very lucky girl and hope my evil thought cant fight my lucky, happy angel thought forever..and hope my lucky angel will continue to bring me more luck in future, I promise to accept everything ..next monday will be the day (27 dec 2010), I need to face that..I am freaking freaking scared about that actually but I cant tell anyone face to face of course, need to be strong enough to face it..I dont wan make everyone worry about me too much..and wanna shout out to the world that I love those who love me so much so much...just too much...deep from heart..god bless all of you..night world...