Home Sw33t HomE

Thank God....

2011-04-24T08:39:00.000-07:00

Thank god for sending me a god "brother" that really care about me..is just like sending me a jacket and hot choc in winter...Chong hurt me too much, he din even wanna bother our relationship...he din even bother my feeling, I seriously dunno what he want from me and what he expect me to do for him..but anyway, my heart already like totally broken and cant feel anything rite that minute...all I can do is let him decide everything, and I will try my best to let go everything soon..I really cant believe he did that to me again and again and again...is that means he love me still..

God sent me a very good god brother so that I able to continue my path alone without chong..Just wanna let chong know, I really cant stand for it dy...if someone ask me who I love most, for sure is always YOU..but may be you already forget the love for me..I really hurt....hurt a lot...luckily, god sent someone here to take over your place to take care of me..really make me feel so touch, he is always there for me when I need him...he is just like my angel...love this brother so much...will do everything for him..thank god...

Today, 24 april 2011....I love today ...just love today...thank chong that hurt me so damn much on today...thank lot to my dear brother that gave so much love for me on today also...god wanna show the difference to me on today...God just arranged all this thing happen in same day so that I can feel which is more important in their heart...for chong, is definitely not me...but for my bro definitely is me...haha:) Love this feeling lol..

Hope will have a good night ...and sweet dream as well....

Greatz.....I knew it....

2011-04-10T08:18:00.000-07:00

This is the day he told me all those shit thing....just like bull that simply shit here and there...Do I create problem?? He telling I am the trouble maker, I am the one who should fix all this...He using two chinese word to totally break my heart till cant even gum back, "FAN GAN" ...these word hurt me till like I am vampire who already died...then when I realize that I am still alive, my tears coming out from my eye..he giving me no hapiness, nothing..he make my love life suck, like I am single...that still envy those who dating outside..ok...at last, I am the trouble maker....the main trouble maker...chong li qun, you happy with that...
Last time, you wanna come back to me then you treat me like your only angel, but what now?? you promised you will treat me like princess forever..but what now?? you din even bother what you had promised...can you define the word PROMISE?? But now you make me feel everything in your life more important than me, just everything...then where should I stand?? then now you telling I am the trouble maker..you wanna leave here, then just go...if you want me to change then I change la..you dont want to bother me then just dont..I am ok with it...just need time to overcome this thing in my heart, take time...you dont wan me to be trouble maker then ok...I promised you 10 things...then I will do ok...I wont break promise like you did...I know the definition of promise very clear..I love you...this is the conclusion...I can only have you in my life...but now seems like different..you change...you totally change...I am so sorry to myself...Feel so sorry for my heart...I did not know this happen to make my heart hurt like this..I am so sorry to my heart, I did not know love can be like this..I did not know love can hurt so much...I thought love should be romantic that make everyone happy..I really did not know so much about love...so I will beware of love now...get too much of hurt...just too much...
I am totally stuck now..stuck in nowhere...I need someone to help me...need it so much...I cant stand alone for this long...I am not that strong like you guys thought, I am so sorry to disappointing you guys so...I am actually suck like other normal girl..I really dont know what should I do..I wanna run away from all this shit..can I just put away my family, player, work ..then leave them like this only..if yes then where should I go?? any idea guys? i seriously need help...I am stuckk...I knew this day will come to me..face it or leave it???? dying la....

Chinese New Year Eve...heading to the brand new rabbit year..

2011-02-02T07:43:00.000-08:00

Still have 15 minutes leave before rabbit year...In this Tiger's year, I have totally out of luck in everything, which include health, love, family and lot more..so I really hope in the brand new rabbit will bring me luck in everything...god bless me please, I really had enough of bad luck and need some good luck to cheer me up again...
First bad, my health...dengue, asma, sick and sick again, the "THING" inside my body, then fever and fever again...gosh, really need to get off these thing..make me weak...So, I really hope in the rabbit year, I will as cute as rabbit and as strong as a dragon which I use to be...wahahhaaa...
Second bad, about family...I concern about my grandma so much..so I really keep searching some medicine for her to cure every pain in her body..then last month, I bought some medicine for her leg pain, then make her feel more weak ...I called doctor to ask about that, then doctor told me that will happen to her because of her weak body, then the medicine cant match with blood which contains sugar so this is what happen to my grandma...huhhhh...freaking sad and down...dunno how to face my grandma now..she keep telling that is because of my medicine to make her so weak now ..gosh...presssure lol...
Third bad, all about love...I cant believe he treat me like this...every single thing important than me in his life...so how do I going to take him as my husbadn to protect me forever...so have lot deal with him..but...I sure end up with forgiving him again and again because my love to him is too too too deep...I dunno how much I love him..I dunno how deep I love him..I worry bout him too too much that words cant describe..but why he still keep hurt-ing me like this...so I really hope I will have a brand new rabbit love in rabbit year...rabbit please bless me..hahaha..thank...
And now is the time....Happy Chinese Rabbit Year to the world...!!!!! I hope rabbit year of 2011 will bring luck, hapiness, love , health and proeperity to my family and friends....I love all of them so much...love both my grandma and grandpa..mmuackhh...love my lovely dad and mum, mmuackhh...love all three of my bro, mmuakhh...love all of my uncle, aunt and cousin..mmuackkhhh...and for sure love all my friends..,mmmuackhh....
For sure, not forgotten my love one, chong...I love you so much..that words cant describe..although we have trouble in our relationship..but no matter how or what happen or we cant get together..I will still love you...best of luck world..!! haha...gonna help my mum to prepare those red packets...Good night world..!!

Counting down to the year of 2011

2010-12-30T07:35:00.000-08:00

Now is the time for us to rewind the whole year of 2010..what we have did? what good and bad thing we have did in year 2010..from january to december...and what we had promised to do but cant make it in 2010..I hate January because I started work seriously in Jan..haiz, started the job that I not really want which working in my dad's company...then Feb, not really remember what have I did, hmm...rewinding!!!!!! CNY in Feb, happy CNY...March, april and may busy with those competition ..and one thing I really hate is those player's parents, they really bullshit..we have coach till their son and daughter got into BJ sportschool but then they keep telling outsider that we lie to them , we this and that...what the FFFF..hope god will punish them, punish their ugly mouth..
I feel like cant get a good story once we step into the working life, is like keep routine and routine, always rush for this and that..tension for everything..that all about WORK..nothing really happening..until I went for Korea trip early Dec...love the tour so freaking much..love the place, love the cold weather, love the tour leader..just love..had memorable and enjoyable trip..will definitely go Korea again..I love Ski, I love Kimchi...I love Korea....and now come to the last day of year 2010, time flies........annual stock check againz..arghhhh...hate this most..anyway, we have to face it also, come on...just fight for it..hope everything go smooth on the last day of 2010..god bless...
Sleep well and tight, so that able to keep full energy for the last day of 2010...
all the best to all Hup Heng's worker..keep fighting dude..!! Good night world..

Merry Christmas to the world and also me

2010-12-24T09:57:00.000-08:00

Went out for Christmas celebration with law, alice, susan, joei woei and 3 of the junior..happy to have them in this christmas, although I am not that merry..Have totally no plan in all the festive season so I put lot hope in my friend to date me..please do that always dude..haha:)
25 DECEMBER 2010, Saturday...Sin Lan is not happy now..who going to cheer me up?? then 26 Dec, continue to be moody alone...then 27 Dec is the day I scared most..but who know, and who going to bother how I feel..continue to pretend to be alright, to be happy...stop all those bullshit..I am not happy now, but who going to bear with me?? chong?? I love him so much but how he treat me?? his family and friends are all important than me..and in all those festive season he wont have a plan and wont wish me at all...come on...just wanna to be happy now...but who care if I happy rite now or not??...
In such cold christmas night, crying alone in this lonely room...I am all alone here..where's santa?? come make me smile please..I thought he will stay for me today, tomorrow till 27 ..he dont know that I will feel scared if I stay alone?? sure..he never try to understand me..he know only hurt me..this is what I get from him..who should I share my feeling with?? no one???? someone please answer me..who's there for me???
BE strong...be yourself, be sin lan...try to let go girl...have a good night and merry chritmas..promise..

Too much!!!!

2010-12-23T07:55:00.000-08:00

There sure be something happen when I wanna start my blog every time..sigh..include this time, my neighbour need our help because they forgot to bring their key, huhh....help them to break into their house and now decided that I must put some words here no matter what on tonight...
These day I have too much thought that keep appears in my mind, just too much until I can well digest all of that..I never thought that I am perfect, I never thought that I am as bad luck I am in this year, I also never thought that I am a lucky girl because since I was young I never fully achieve what I have target, include a very famous Badminton Champion, a very pretty girl, lot more...just cant get through all this thought, BUT...slowly tell myself that I am lucky to have a family like this, all of them take very good care of me, love me and for sure I love all of them so much too...I love my dear dad and mum, my eldest bro, 2 of my lovely cute younger bro...and of course GIGI..and I gonna thank god that gave Chong to me..although he is not perfect as other but for me that is enough, love him so much actually, just so much that word cant describe..thank god...I definitely a lucky girl when I think of my grandma, grandpa, uncle and aunt ...they love me so much too..especially my grandma and uncle, they do lot of things for me..thank you very much and love them so much...I am lucky to have friends like alice, weihong, ruigie, law, sheau yueh and lot more...best friend ever..and not forgotten my powerpuff team, jeslyn pang and amelia..I am already a lucky girl for all this, not everyone have this opportunity...I have it...I should appreciate this..
This year is not my year so there sure be some problem occur...I really cant accept what have god gave me once I knew that..cant believe something growing inside my body, just dont wan to accept that happened..too down too sad at that time, but after I settle all those thought, I am totally fine and happy to accept that...I know I am not strong like those time but sometime I will not think of how worse my body or energy is, I will still work and keep think, I afraid that I cant do all this thing when something come to the end..I must show all my love to all of my love ones..
One thing I really hate is "going for doctor alone"..I just hate going hospital alone and I need to bear all the problem alone..can someone promise me that will accompany me for doctor every time I need ...I dont like the feeling to be alone now..nowadays, I need to take quite lot medicine in a day..huhh...in this age already need lot medicine, sometimes I will feel fed-up with my self and those medicine..I am sad but no one know..they keep telling "no worries, u sure need to have all that because u r sick now"...huhh...I dont wan to be sick lolz..who can help..I guess no one gonna help me on this..
I am happy that I am actually a very lucky girl and hope my evil thought cant fight my lucky, happy angel thought forever..and hope my lucky angel will continue to bring me more luck in future, I promise to accept everything ..next monday will be the day (27 dec 2010), I need to face that..I am freaking freaking scared about that actually but I cant tell anyone face to face of course, need to be strong enough to face it..I dont wan make everyone worry about me too much..and wanna shout out to the world that I love those who love me so much so much...just too much...deep from heart..god bless all of you..night world...

Can I do better??

2010-06-29T06:45:00.000-07:00

Woke up early in the morning and felt god damn tired...so I think I must not had a good night for last night...having nightmare all the while!!! when can I get off of this?? starting to work work work, then he can act like I am not there, ya, he's right, may be I am transparent for him..anyway, I still have to do my thing well..I have bought breakfast for him but he din even wanna see me so I rather to throw it away instead of eating them..he not doing a great job in sales, at first I have decided not to help him but BullShit sin lan will not do that..spend half day to help him on his catalog...I know I wont get a "thank you" from him..but is ok..I just wanna do my part..and promise will slowly let go..just need more time..

I trying not to bother if he will wishing me good morning, afternoon or night..and dont bother will he call or message me..I am trying my best to do that..he can made it, he had tried before not to call me back when I had called him for few times...then my staff call him straight away he answer..how hurt was that?? so come on sinlan..why you wanna feel sad for that if he dont have feeling ..Although I am the kind who always love to have feeling of romance and surprise, this time I realize I wont get that any more so give me some time..I realize he wont do anything for me any more, so please always remember that he wont..so I wont get hurt again from that...he rather call his friend, uncle or god mother for chatting instead of me....stop thinking about him lolz..wake up, wake up..

I am now still confusing if I wanna take CAT..?? any idea friend?? afraid of too tired, afraid of collapse soon...so let me think first...I may be can handle that because I dont have to spend time for dating, or may be I should say I dont have date anymore..no one date me..!! so for who else viewing my blog please feel free to call 9880129 for chatting..I love chatting on fon..I wanna to smile from my heart, I wanna to be happy like who I am last time..
I am damn happy today to knew that my best friend Alice and Gigi still my best friend who concern about me..I still have them with me..thank lot and sorry for my busy life..going out with them tomorrow..happy..yippie!!! wanna be strong again one day..bless me...have a good night please...too tired for everything...

I am going down down down!!!

2010-06-28T07:18:00.000-07:00

Another week have just begin, how I hope it will be the good start for me. Unfortunately, I am wrong, I am still the holly shit girl who having shit life!! I still remember what he did to me yesterday night, I hate such feeling so much...I am a normal girl not that type of girl ok..so please dont do that to me any more...I am sad when you did that to me, do you know that??

I have told my dad to allow him to go for sales, so my dad agree and is already started today..He may be happy for the decision or may be not?? I not sure about that, anyway, I am not going to bother what you actually want for your whole life..you choose your way, I dont want to have hurt feeling when you asking why am I controlling you..?? I dont wan to give a chance for you to hurt me any more...so please just leave me alone..my opinion is you are great if continue with the store manager post instead of going for sales...but I dont know what he thinking now so just let go!!

My dad started to put lot of pressure on me again..hate those feeling..I have load of work to do from today onwards..holly shit!! how should I handle those stock well?? I cant even handle my emotion and relationship well, why are they still want me to handle those important thing..I have lost confident on myself now!! how to build up those confident...I am shit girl, stupid girl...dont put lot hope on me ok, I cant help anything..I dunno what to do next..I have no plan yet!!! really hope god will lead me the path way for me..I need more time to rest...have few days to think about if I can take CAT course or not!! can I handle my time well?? how long can I hold for that?? will I collapse faster??? I wondering when my brain can start function again?? come on girl!!! I need to think...I need my brain to function for me!! god bless...

believe it or not...

2010-06-27T07:13:00.000-07:00

I thought I am strong enough to handle everything..unfortunately, I am not!!! I cant handle my company very well when my parents not in, I cant handle my family well when they need me, I cant even handle my relationship well ...and my emotion as well..I feel shame of that...freaking shame, shameful!!!
At first, I thought everything was over and getting fine..but, I am wrong, problem is still there..I was shock when I knew I am not the first person to know he is not going to competition, and my sis telling in front of us..freaking shock...he dont like to tell me everything or he actually feel that I am not important for him to tell me everything..When he told me that he is going back to his home, I was actually alright with that, and promise myself to be the stupid girl who din think too much..but my uncle started to ask why is he still going back when my family have problem and I need his help on it..then my sis asking me the same question..I said I dont know the reason..he telling his mum this and that..I am fed-up...so what's now..when happy then you wan me to share with you but when I have problem then you decide to go away instead of bearing with me..is not fair right..he have lot of complaints about me..he dont like me doing this, he dont like acting this and that..what he want from me somemore, I have did lot of thing for him...what is want somemore, he want me to stay here with him instead of going oversea to further my study...I always think about him, worry about him, concern about him..haiz...what I get at last...I got those hurt words from him, he dont like me to do this and that...haiz..so what should I actually do for him ?? I have one great outcome now..I decide to let go some..dont bother too much about him, may be he will be happy..I am trying hard now..I am hurt!!! Feel god damn hard recently..need lot lot of rest ..He dont like to reply me message now...he busy in lot of unnecessary matter but not me!!! He dunno that he is my everything from the day he said he love me..my heart is all belong to him when he first said he love me..he promise to take care of me forever!! breaking promise is his hobby...so what next??
I have discussed with my mum, I may be thinking of taking CAT (accounting programme)..I wanna fill my time for everything..I have lot of thinking recently..I need to see him at work place, I need to see him at home...even sometime we need to meet each other at court...how you feel when you meeting one people that u love so much but he hurt you so much everyday everyplace..I wanna find one place to go out from him...he had promised me before he want to "sayang" me much more than last time..he promised to put me in the very first place forever..But what I get now!! Hurt...hurt hurt...and hurt also...why should I go somemore..just let it go go go!! where on earth have one people to allow other to hurt them so much..again and again!! when will it over???? dont wait for it to change...I change by myself then...decide to look for something useful to further study so that wont waste of time in those who hurt us...full use of time and mind...although is hard and hurt at first, but I slowly will get it done...need time..
I am happy when I get back to my best friend ever, Alice..she knows me very well, she din even blame of me..we promise to share everything together..thank lot , Alice!!! love you forever..!!!I have one good drama to watch now..wanna enjoy it now also!! stop thinking of everything, girl!! have a wonderful night world!! thank for blogger allow me to post my feeling here...feel like dying when keep everything in heart..

Bad of luck!!!

2010-06-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

Tiger year wasn’t a good year to me…Lot of challenge waiting ahead, wondering how am I going to go through smoothly?? My youngest bro had denggi on april then he have just fully recovered from that, then now pulak my younger bro!! really fed-up with it la, as a human being we have to worry about H1N1, denggi, accident, not enough money to use, ETC…what on earth !!! Really hope he can get well super duper soon…hate the feeling when looking at our dearest lying on bed suffering from pain…god bless him, please!!! I afraid with mosquito now, a little small devil can cause people suffering like hell and some even take their live away..why god created this to us?? Is that because of our human attitude so god wants to punish us?? Bless us please…

When I woke up early in the morning today, I thought today must be the very good day for me..Unfortunately, my thought was wrong, is just the beginning of nightmare… I have the strong feeling of having great beginning after my boy kisses me and wish me good morning, really love this feeling and I wanted to have this feeling long time ago…finally, I had it dy…and wanna to have it every single day no matter morning, noon or night..and promise will not get bored till the end of life…I wanna to have him forever…he is only belong to me…when I have made this statement, I started to worry about how if he hurt me again, how if he don’t want me after someday…arghh…boring with those thinking..still wondering what should I do to him??? Looking for answer every where…

I had a god sister last time, but now she like damn busy with her stuff and leaving me far alone..I actually wanna to have a sister to “saying” me as her sister…I wanna to share everything with her, I got one now..she told me that I am like her sister, so from that day onward I started to tell her everything about me..I am glad to have her…I treat her like my sister now, wow…feel good to have a sister again!! Thank lot to “michelle”…haha Have a good night world!! God bless my brother, please…thank lot!!

矛盾的我！！！！

2010-06-22T07:53:00.000-07:00

Actually I wanna type in chinese but then it really difficult for me to make it....now only I knew that I am useless in lot of matter, just everything..feeling down down down recently and wondering how to express me feeling, my jie jie had suggested me to express it through dairy then only I realize that I have my own blog so why not I do it here...
He changed a lot, I wonder is he the one who changed or actually he is still the one I love most ..I am falling in the confusion now!! I miss the feeling that we use to be together and the sweet feeling being together...but I wonder if we can still have chance to make it dream come true..love those sweet romance!! I dont need a full stop in our love story..I really dont need a full stop in it!!!
想回到过去
试着抱你在怀里
羞怯的脸带有一点稚气
想看你看的世界
想在你梦的画面
只要靠在一起就能感觉甜蜜
想回到过去
试着让故事继续
至少不再让你离我而去
分散时间的注意
这次会抱得更紧
这样挽留不知还来不来得及
Love this song so much now...!!

I know actually I am lying and pretending that I can let go him and everything but I am so sorry to my dear jie..I cant make it !! I love him so much until I dont have the strength to live without him..although he hurt me, I am still that love him..I afraid to being hurt, hate the feeling much..He said he wont feel regret if break up with me (freaking hurt), he said he dont like me to bother and talk too much about his thing (hurt)-I am just trying to help him sometime, I dont wan he do load of those useless step to get thing done, I have lot idea for him to get thing done in easier way but he just dont wan listen to me ..I have told him that his attitude cant apply in driving, is freaking dangerous, I dont want to lose him, I cant see him in pain, I will get heart attack as well!! LOOK..what I should do when he tell me all this thing, should I just let go him so that I wont feel that hurt when he tell the same thing to me next time...or should I try to forget everything then slowly 回到过去..?? he have told me to forget everything and he is the one who can forget everything he did to me then act normal like that matter din happened before..unfortunately, I am stupid sin lan that cant make it, every single word he said will be in my mind and heart forever..is like impossible for me to forget those word he had said!!! I need more time ..
I wanna to be happy...but how?? he have changed means everything changing..I have given all my heart to him..should I still believe in true love for great romance..He is definitely not good in romance matter now but why last time he can make it ?? is that because he boring to have those romance with me?? or?? WAITING is the hardest thing in world, I have waited for him to date me for movie..I have waited him to buy me Jay's album, I have waited his family to visit my parents actually, I have waited him to come to me and ask me that "will you marry me"..other than that, promise is the worst thing as well..he have promise load of thing to me, wanna bring me to klcc, wanna date me for movie, will not make me cry anymore, will always listen to me first...ETC...lot more he have promise..can you please define promise?? promise simply defined as =To make a declaration assuring that something will or will not be done..so if he promise to do that means he must do it right?? promise causes hope, expectation...then if he break his promise means he break my hope!! do he know that??
I am still wondering what should I do next!!! god, please lead me to the best way..I cant even leave him for single minute now..I wanna to be with him every single minute and second..I know my jie jie will disappointed when saw these<<< she sure started to scold me "stupid"..I know I am stupid in this thing but I thought this is why god created the word "love"...give me some time to make sure that should I still believe true love will bring happiness to me forever..I will try to change also!! Really exhausted this few days..love the feeling of drunk, mmuackhh...drunk drunk drunk....drunk make me feel like I am getting the whole world..wahaha!!! going to bed soon..hope thing change and get back to last time when I awake in the morning..I have new wishes for my birthday , which is I dont wan any symbol of full stop in my world..go away form me!! Missing my parent so much now..time pass faster please and thank you!! have a good night..to everyone and my lovely jie jie!!

My first day in Sdyney

2009-09-19T00:20:00.000-07:00

It is a good experience for me, 8 hours flight alone...then arrive at sydney about 9 morning then there is the driver waiting for me..then send me to Fiona's house..
guess what, Fiona thought i will arrive on Sunday so she haven prepare the room for me...wahaha..so she was shock on the moment...then while waiting she clean up the room, 2 little pets accompanied me...then..finally...

There is my sweet room..thank to Fiona...
I had Pasta with cheese for my dinner and ice cream mix with strawberry and banana for my dessert(prepared by Gitake-one of the korean boy)thank lot:)

香港之照

2009-02-18T18:11:00.000-08:00

我的头太大了咯！！哈哈。。。

骆驼嫌我们太重了。。。它很无奈咯。。。骆驼骂“死肥婆还不快滚下来，妈的”。。

欣兰的小小城堡。。大大梦想。。。

财神到，财神到。。财神到欣兰家大门口。。

跟弟弟一起走镖。。。

本草纲目。。。哈哈。。请称呼我为陈医师。。。

Introducing Mickey and Minnie....They welcoming us to DisneyLand...

金字塔之险。。。欣兰万岁。。

无奈的等待着美少女哦。。哈哈哈。。

小人国之家。。。超可爱的。。。

Sin Lan versus JackSparrow...

欣兰到此一游。。有机会的话一定会再去的。。。

Tiger Wood...yuhooo...loser...

张国荣 is alive...he wanna bring me home because I am too cute..hahaz...

Aaron Kwok is my ex-lover...hahaz...

古巨基very handsome hor...plus singing damn nice de...

情人节快乐!!!

2009-02-15T07:04:00.000-08:00

时间过得真的很快，情人节都过了。。我在这先祝我的朋友们情人节快乐哦。。我永远爱她们的哦，尤其是Alice and Ruigie。。爱死你们哦。。
我其实还蛮开心的因为立群来关丹陪我度过哦。。不过也许是我太忙了吧，他也不敢安排什么节目的，所以就过得又闷又累咯。。要约朋友都没时间哦，好想念他们哦。。海边人多，吃的地方也多人，车也多。。最后就决定吃完回家陪妈妈咯！！哈哈哈哈哈。。无聊吧。。
那天我发email给勇旭，他回我了哦。。真的觉得很感动哦。。我其实一直都会想起他的，毕竟他是我曾经深爱过的男子。。跟他一起的时间还蛮长的，有开心的，有甜的，当然也有吵的时候。。不过跟他一起我感觉过幸福哦！！也许老天爷安排我们要有这一段感情来成为真正的知心好朋友吧。。不过还是真的要谢谢他让我长大了。。我分得清楚什么是真爱和什么是喜欢。。我也许真的喜欢勇旭不过我却是爱立群的。。我希望我们会成为好朋友咯。。加油哦！！
最近的生活真的开始忙了。。忙功课，忙做工，忙教球的。。。爸爸的工作也很忙，所以他一直希望我快点可以帮到他，然后接他的生意。。他希望我可以别出国留学。。我也知道他真的很累，不过出国读是我的梦想。。我现在这个年纪不出的话，我真不知道几时可以实现梦想咯。。我也不可以自私的说要就要的。。所以走一步就一步吧。。慢慢来吧。。先把现在的搞好咯。。
明天又是新的一天了。。又是噩梦的开始了，真的会开始怕了。。功课也得开始做了，哈哈哈哈。。不然就完蛋了咯。。朋友们，你们也别再懒惰咯。。哈哈。。。加油哦！！

人生是一种承受

2009-02-09T18:06:00.000-08:00

人生一种承受，需要学会支撑。支撑事业，支撑家庭，甚至支撑起整个社会，有支撑就一定会有承受，支撑起多少重量，就要承受多大压力。从某种意义上说，生活本身就是一种承受。

　　承受痛苦。痛苦就人生而言，常常扮演着不速之客的角色，往往不请自到，有些痛苦来的温柔，如同漫漫降临的黄昏，在不知不觉间你会感到冰冷和黑暗；有些痛苦来的突然，如同一阵骤雨、一阵怒涛，让我们来不急防范；当我们屈服于痛苦的时候，他可能使我们沮丧、潦倒，甚至在绝望中走向灭亡。当我们承受了痛苦，我们就会变的坚强自信，那么，此时，痛苦就变成了一笔物价的财富。

　　承受幸福。幸福需要享受，但有时候，幸福也会轻而易举的击败一个人。当幸福突然来临的时候，人们往往会被幸福的旋涡淹没，从幸福的颠峰上跌落下来。承受幸福，就是要珍视幸福而不是一味的沉淀其中，如同面对一坛陈年老酒，一饮而尽往往会烂醉如泥不省人事，只有细品慢咂，才会品出真正的香醇甜美。

　　承受平淡。人生中，除了幸福和痛苦，平淡占据了我们生活的大部分生活。承受平淡，同样需要一份坚韧和耐心，平淡如同一杯清茶，点缀着生活的宁静和温馨。在平淡的生活中，我们需要承受淡淡的孤寂与失落，承受挥之不去的枯燥与沉寂，还要承受遥遥无期的等待与无奈.

　　承受孤独。会使我们倍加珍惜友谊；承受失败，会使我们的信心更加坚定与深厚；承受责任。会使我们体会到诚实与崇高；承受爱情，则会使我们心灵更臻充盈、完美。当我们终于学会心平气和的去承受时，那么，我们的人生就达到了一定的高度。

我只希望我这短短的人生可以活得更精彩。。这就是活着的意义。。

Photo Update....

2009-02-09T06:51:00.001-08:00

友谊万岁

好久不见。。

2009-02-09T06:18:00.000-08:00

忙了一段时间。。现在终于有点时间坐下来写一点东西。。从香港回来后很多东西都慢慢变了。。慢慢回到以前了，他也变了。。比以前更疼我了，我很开心。。不过这些可以维持多久，没人知道。。所以我应该珍惜而不是逃避。到香港后才知道自己有多想我两个好朋友，几天没见而已却好像几星期没见哦。
新年也过完了，现在是时候开始为生活打拼了。。经济越来越差了，所以要开始加油，千万不可以坐着等。。
读书方面就真的开始难了，也许是自己开始懒惰了吧。。功课很多，工也很多。。现在的生活感觉每天都很累，好像一直不够睡或休息的。。就觉得很不行，好像要倒下了。。要撑着哦，加油。。
今天的心情有点不开心，也许是因为中午跟朋友有点争吵吧。。我觉得每个人的看法不一样。。刚才有一辆车在路中间慢慢走，甚至有停下来一下。。一开始我都忍得到，直到那车完全停下来一下，我就忍不了了。我那时还得赶去做工的。。车里面是个比较老的人，她说我应该可怜他，体谅他。。很多时候就是这些人导致车祸的。。在马车路上是平等的，太老的人不应该再驾车了，真的很危险的。。很多时候我们都认为自己的想法才是对的，不过想法只要是没伤害到人都是没错的。
人慢慢长大了，压力慢慢多了。。想法也开始多了，想的东西也慢慢多了起来，有时真的觉得很烦很烦。。可是这是应该要负责的。。要专心做好每件事情，绝不能马虎的。。
今天是元宵节，我在这祝每个人元宵节快乐。。
明天又有课了，功课也该开始动了。。朋友们别懒惰哦。。加油加油加油。。。

Can the word SORRY change everything....

2008-12-06T04:36:00.000-08:00

Busy day so no time to post any blog...of course the busy also content lazy lolz...hahaz...I should start my blog from monday...He tell me that he will come kuantan on tuesday..huhh...I cant fall sleep on that night...keep thinking for the whole night then sleep for couple hours then wake up damn early de...hahazz..excited..he tell me that he will be reach at 1.30..then me and alice wait for him to come on time...huhh..I am thinking how should I act in front of him while waiting..manatau...he 2.30 only reach lolz...I am rushing to court coaching lolz..then when reach court I just leave my car for him and alice...I din even see his face yet...although I really feel to see or just have a look...I am scared anyway..after coaching, he come to fetch me..he came with alice and ruigie...my little bro sit in front and 3 of us sit at the back..I look at him from the back..Feel like wanna go hug him..huhh...then after bath we have our dinner at hong kong restaurant..I drive to ECM..I saw one bottle of mineral and one shirt in my car...suddenly, I feel the sweetness that I thought I will not feel it again..I feel so touch actually..I know it was him...While eating,I always curi curi look at him ..I am actually missing him lot that till I cant imagine how much I miss him...After dinner, we went home..I straight away sit in front of tv and my dad's laptop...start playing mahjung there...then he take cup of water for me..huhh..dunno how to respond anyway..it been long time...I missing the feeling so muchie muchie..then he sit beside me...but we dunno what to chat..suddenly, he touch my face softly like previous...And tell me that I am thin dy...then ask me whether I am tired not...after that,Harn call me for drink..I went with them..huhh...I am sorry that I am a bit Lan Si..But I really dunno what to say and how to act in front of him..I am so sorry about that...
I should just shorten the story...He keep telling sorry sorry and sorry...He tell my the truth about why he wanna hurt me like that and why he leave me..He said he making wrong decision ...because of his own problem..he dont wan me to suffer..I feel happy to know the truth and his explanation...thank lot ya...He wan to be with me again..and ask whether he still got a chance or not...I dunno how shold I answer him anyway...I tell him the truth that actually I still love him so much but I scare to fall into the love river ...because I really afraid of the feeling of hurt..it is really sad and feel like dying...so I rather love him from far away...I really scared how if he hurt me again..coz I really love him more than I think...He went back on thursday...Early in the morning somemore,he wake me up late..so I straight away sent him go bus station lolz..When he walk far away from my car, I can feel my eye in heating and feel like start crying...coz I dont wan him walk away from me anymore..will he promise me??? to stay with me forever and ever..???
Anyway,I should not decide anything now...and my parents not allow me to answer him also..so let the god to decide lolz...the most important is I should help him to overcome his problem first ...To reduce his burden...God bless him ya....HAHAz...My exam in on next wed but till now I am still relaxing..come on, check it out...I should start my revision lolz..dont be lazy ya..gambateh yop...Tomorrow only start study la..hehez...now wanna watch movie and have my sweet dream ...nite..Hope that my fon will appear his call or message..coz missing him...

Painfulllllll...........

2008-11-28T08:32:00.000-08:00

Another busy week...huhh...I dunno what should I do now...How can I help him??...My final exam is on 10th of DEC, but I din even touch the text book or everything yet...I am just thinking how to find money..For my kl and hong kong trip..and for him too...I actually collecting money for my further study in Australia, but now got little problem that cause me stop thinking about australia...I really wanna leave malaysia as soon as possible ..I wish Ms Christine could arrange all my major subject for my next semester..because I hope can finish earlier and make decision faster..I hate to live in Malaysia anymore..anyway, His problem is my problem too...I dunno why he dont wan to share the problem together..may be the feeling of sharing is over..I really wish I could share with him what ever is it...if in poor life, we can work hard together..if is sad, we can talk together...this is LOVE...But one hand cant clap..so, I cant do anything..just try hard to help him...
Hahaz...past few days was really a memorable and enjoyable days...spend time with my best friend, HARN, RUIGIE, ALICE, and LAW...singing...hehez...I really like to spend time with them to forget my sadness and those problems..Previously, when singing with those girl, they dont like to rap my husband(JAY) song....but when singing with harn and law..they can rap with me..hahaz....RUIGIE and Alice like so shy to sing de..hahaz...espeacially TANRUIGIE...then, that day HARN and RUIGIE sing "xuan zhe"...I feel little jealous...and of course I felt so sweet to see them like this..I wish I can too..but..anyway, I know who I am now...hahaz..behave ok...I really wish their relation will last forever and ever..I can only continue wishing people to get the best partner or lover in their real life...Because I am always living in the dream..which I wish I will not wake up any more..hahaz...
Today, I went to oasis to do the eyeliner tattoo..huhhh...damn pain pain...beauty KILL...Sometime, I am wondering that some of the will suffer for thier beauty...is it really important.??of course I wanna to be pretty too but I afraid of pain...hahaz....I rather to be normal..hahaz..after the tattoo session then me and alice went to MF...hahaz..huhh...weight increasing but some of the CM decreasing lolz...I dunno is it a bad or good news for me...is weird rite?? weight increase but CM decrease..I thought it should be the same...I mean if this increase then that will too...hahaz..After MF, we went YC with dear hong hong, law and joei wei...damn syok...we use to say diet diet diet but we will end up with food in our stomach..hahaz..Then, we start to "chui shui" , "blow water" ....hahaz...keep chatting...Alice is the one who always break the rhythm..hahaz...coz she is cinderella...which must go back house earlier ..if not her mum will turn to tiger or lion lolz...to "DIU" her...While blowing water, I received his msg...which stated" take more rest and good care"..huhh..I dunno what to reply so I just delete it as usual..coz I dont wan to make myself to think those impossible thing..hahaz..smart rite?? Actually I am happy to see that msg..but is it mean anything??? is just a msg rite?? friend sending msg to another friend to concern bout her...huhh...yaya..I should think this way..haiz...
After send the CINDERELLA back then I went to pray..I saw Chasel, my dad's best friend which is a handsome man...hahaz...his little tummy is growing slowly le..hehez...he askes about him again...then he tell me that he is so busy and doing another part time job at night...hmm..mmm...My hurt feel so pain to heard about that...Why he do that??I thought I already tell him to take more rest and dont make himself too tired coz I will help him..I promise will help...no matter what...so pls..god bless him...
Tomorrow is saturday again..nightmare starting...tough weekend again...coaching for the whole day in the damn hot court and facing those CLEVER kids...huhh...nightmare nightmare...hahaz...so I think I need to rest my painful eye..if not I wonder how my eye will turn to..hahaz...dear alive and ruigie and harn and law and hong..I sudden missing you all so much now..all of you are part of my life now..hahaz...nite nite ya...and good nite to him too...wish him will have a very good rest and sweet dream..

I am SORRY....

2008-11-19T08:28:00.000-08:00

Today is really a special day for me...so no matter what happen or how tired I am, I must blog...should start from early in the morning...I read newspaper and saw his name in a competition..he won so I wish him for the next match...I send message to him and said good morning and add oil...he do reply me...and wish good morning and thank you...then i din reply anymore....till afternoon I and 15 of my player's went cinema watch MADAGASCAR..escape to africa..hehez...is quiet funny..after that, we went capcom again..and play again, it is really crazy...but is very happy to get high with them coz they are kids..so when play with them will make me forget everything and focus on their smile face..I like it so much..while we are playing, I tookout my fon to check what the time..then sudden I saw 2 miss call from the one I wish to see...then I am thinking should I call back..At last I call back ...Then he asking where I am and what I am doing??..actually I wanna answer that I am with my new BF but I din do that..I tell the truth..and then he said will call me back at night..
The whole afternoon I feel so weird and dunno should wait his call or not...how if he din call me back..and if he call me back what should I say..Is very very headache..I went YOGA with the other dear pigs and hope can forget everything...I do...I can do it..But when we are on the way to yam cha, dear alice sudden ask about him lolz...huhh...It make me start thinking again...Then when reach home, I lepak with my 2 little cute brothers..then start continue my drama, "lan qiu huo"-hotshot..the actors is damn handsome and cute..cool...hahaz...I falling in love again..while watching that and laughing at there, sudden a call in..wow..is he ..I pick up and start our convezation..I am so sad about that..I misunderstood everything..But he should tell me earlier about that..I dunno what he is thinking actually, because of his problem then give up me..why?? Or because of other problems too?? Anyhow, we are friend now..I will still help you..my whole family will always support you too..Just focus on what you should do now and dont think too much..I had mention 27th of DEC ...so I am wondering that is he still remember what is the meaning of the date..But if he forget already also nvm..we are friend, for sure he no need to remember that..and he like not feeling well..my heart got little pain and I am worry...Pls, god bless him...
Lastly for my blog is...I regret that I din tell him I MISS YOU...I am thinking that should i tell??...I am really missing him so much actually..huhh..take it easy..I needto continue my great drama now and need to go bed soon..good nite and sweet dream to him and my 2 little dear pig...All of them will be my very best friend in my whole life..I love them so muchie...So, GOD must bless them...

Refreshing...

2008-11-17T05:49:00.000-08:00

Lazy for few days..hahaz....not in blogging mood too so "lepak" for few days..so, back on track now...i went to the kiwanis center with alice's sis (sue mei)...I am so so happy to see them smiling...they are actually very cute..I hope that no one wil boycott them...for those who boycott them is actually stupid than them..
Next update will be my dear GIGI...I send her to saloon...she is botak now..hahaz...with big head like "THE DOG" damn cute actually..and is wearing shirt too so that she wont get cold easily with less "MOMO"..lolz..and she just get the final injection today..huhz.....need to pay again..doctor somemore suggest me to buy the medicine to pretect her heart..lolz.damn expensive pulak...but nevermind lolz...as long as GIGI healthy and happy then enough lolz..because I am falling in love with her so muchie..
Then is about my dearest grandma..she getting weak and enter hospital to reload bullet(blood) again..until now the doctor dunno what happen to my grandma...i wondering what the hell they doing for so long time to check this and that,but no result pulak..I feel very heart pain to see her suffering like this...how??? She always feel very very pengsan...izzit kidney problem?? I am worry....The doctor should do something or take action to reduce her pain..Please help her...check it out faster...god bless her....
Next update should be my feeling, thought and everything...hmm...I think that i'm getting better in everything...Ms.christine helping me to ask mr.chan about my furthr study in Australia...I am still waiting for the answer..That day chat with chee yuan's mum..and she gave me lot of opinion...we should make lot of friends...not enemy..so I hope he can put away everything and be normal...I hope that we are sill friend..I feel like want to call him but dunno what will he think..and also dont know what to say lolz..But I am still missing him so much, and will keep deep in my heart..evrything is ok..and I realy hope that I can leave malaysia as soon as possible...This few days I am not feeling well...drink less water and sleep less too..haiz...so damn tired and weak...huhz...today, alice and pig gie go for belly dance..I am the most lazy one..hahaz..go eat with family then come back here sit, watch, play, blog...hahaz...I am going to be the fat-est pig..hehez..haiyooo...Eat can make us smile...happy..so we must keep eating and stop dieting..agree???hahaz....they will kill me after read this blog..lolz...
29th DEC may be will plan to go hong kong...hehez...new year trip lolz..quiet expensive..is about 2400++...but nevermind because fully sponsor by my mum...hahaz..Time pass very fast..espeacially for this year..huhh..i cant even breath..getting old and getting stupid..lolz..haiz..sometime i feel that he took away all my knowledge and my thinking talent...anyway, I can still working very hard to be the smartest one..gambateh ya..is time for drama..good nite everyone and have a sweetest dream ya..

Half way YOGA....

2008-11-12T08:18:00.000-08:00

Life still goes on....Today I woke up at 7am, wow...dont know what happen to me...I should wake up at 11am because i dont have morning class to attend...headache..I lying on bed and start thinking of something..someone...I dream about it again and again..God, help me...Can God create my dream..at least dream about lam fong, or jay or some other handsome lolz..hahaz...Everytime I think about him will make me feel so down..I cant control my thinking and feeling..After thinking, then i slept back at about 9am...till 12something..I feel myself like PIG...anyway, I love those PIG feeling because when I'm sleeping only can make me stop thinking...but dont dream about that again la..dreaming sometime will make me feel more tired...because everytime when awake from dream, for sure I will start thinking again..lolz...
I went class on 2pm...then after class, me,giegie and alice went to general hospital to visit my grandma..yup..she enter hospital again..haiz...but dont worry, she look strong enough to fight..hahaz..
After the visiting, we went to have dinner with my mum..I ate mee curry...wow, is delicious..hahaz..After dinner, we went for YOGA..shit...I feel so spicy when I'm jumping...And feel the curry goign to come out from my stomach..hahaz..3 pig go YOGA after dinner..We play while the teacher is teaching so hard..hahaz...we dont even care..Then after all those warm-up, we decide to quit...hehez...half way work that make us more fat...we went Ms.Christine's house to fetch her out to yam cha..hahaz...luckily she at home...Then we chat about my further study information..still need to wait for reply..I'm wondering when can I leave Malaysia..haiz...I dont wan to stay here...pls..let me go...
Tomorrow is another free day for me..and I decide to bring GIGI go for saloon..cut all her hair..hahaz..become botak...No matter how is GIGI, I will still love her very much..hehez...Is quiet late now, I guess Worms Alice is still rushing for her Account's work..hahaz..gambateh ya dear...Trust yourself that actually you're so smart like GIGI...hahaz...Ruigie sure sitting or lying like pig pig..and me going to watch drama as usual..Lastly, I am missing him so much now..Good nite and swwet dream...tomorrow is another great day for all of us....I wish that will happen to me too..

Tough Weekend...Happy begining of week...

2008-11-10T07:02:00.000-08:00

Wow...feel a bit relax after weekend...I still have a lot of weekend to go...huhh...damn..I cant describe the how is the feeling of tired during my weekend..coaching for the whole day in the court which is damn hot inside there..somemore need to face all my little kids..The damn "CLEVER" kids..Nowadays, the kid is much more smart than last time de...you will not know what they actually thinking..huhh.dangerous...This weekend, my uncle not in, so I have to handle all those stuff include the competition which organized by Macheline tayar..I need to settle the shecdule, the umpire and etc for them to complete their competition...of course they pay for the services that we provide...Hahaz..No money no talk rite..I strongly agree with the statement..hoho...when finish my last session of coaching on sunday, then need to rush to visit my grandma and have dinner with her...chatting arround..after the visit, we went to another grandma's house to visit them too..My finish my time on those visiting all my little cute grandma and grandpa..I love those feeling...feel so sweet and nice when see them smile...I love them so much..
My daddy brought a new laptop yesterday..huhh...window vista, somemore the shape damn sharp..I love it so much lolz..feel to change laptop with him but I still love mine laptop so much..stupid rite??....never mind..I will wait for the next chance and the latest technology..hahaz...Daddy, you should ready your wallet for my next target lolz...dont be selfish lolz..
This weekend, i got not much time and energy to think about him..or may be I'm just forcing myself not to think..I am tired in pretending to be happy...I need some other thing to focus on it...Pretending is not a good idea..I am actually very very tired for the whole month..but I dunno what is the reasons that make me cant sleep and rest well...I am trying very very hard..
And today is monday...a good begining for the week..hahaz..but I wake up late again..dont worry..I'm already ues to sleep late and late for class dy..at least I am in the class rite..haiyooo...I am just watching movie while the lecturer acting in front of us..I watch Stephen Chow's movie..hahaz..damn funny de..always like crazy girl that sudden laughing like no one there...lolz...Today, My stomach complaint at me that I am eating too much ...hahaz...after class we ate the tomyam mian fen gao, then after that we had snack and some choc..then we go buy kuih-muih...after kuih-muih, we went pasar malam pulak..i ate burger, abang-balik,and soya drink..huhh...until nearly vomit man....Till I can feel the fats is surrounding me..scary man..hahazz...anyway, I am happy with it(eat)...hahaz..
After the eating session, we went gym la...then the 2 pig went for belly dance...hahahahhahaha...I keep laughing like hell lolz...they shy to shake they pig's ass wor...They should be dare to shake out their fat lolz.haiyooo..Belly dance is actually very hard to learn, they need to be very soft and must dare to shake lolz..I sure cant do that so I din join them..I am just sitting down there and laugh lolz...The 2 pig keep standing there and watch others because they are LAZY LAZY...hahaz..actually they tried their best already but it is really difficult to learn in one day...They plan to prepare for next year OB nite..So, for those who wanna see pig's belly dance then dont micc the golden chance ya...Buy the ticket and prepare plastic to vomit while watching them..hahaz..joking, dont angry ya..I believe that they will work hard and SMART for next year OB nite..gambateh ya..I will always there to SUPPORT YOU...hahahahzz..
Another day that missing him from the dark hole..I feel my world is getting darker..I really need someone to pull me out from the darkness...anyway, I need to thank my best friend that alway there for me..I love them more than i think..mmuackhh..I need to go bed otherwise, tomorrow I going to miss the bored class again lolz...hahaz...good ntie friend..good nite to him..sweet dream...

KiCk B0x!nG...

2008-11-07T08:01:00.000-08:00

This is my dear cousin, Tan Teck Yang...We use to call him, Yang Yang..He is damn cute actually but very naugthy too..I need to take care of him for 3 days because his daddy not in..wow...it is really a night mare for me..he cant even sit for more than a minute...crazy boy and super active boy..shorten my life...hahaz...But anyways, he is really cute ...I actually love him so much..hehez..

3 Little pig went for KICK BOXING yesterday...hahaz...That is really funny...we keep punching each other..The teacher got no comments, and going to be crazy..hahaz..is actually very nice session..It is almost the same with the "Agerlity" in badminton..But "Agerlity" is much more tired lolz...I encourage girls to learn kick boxing, it can protect ourself from the "HAM SUB" people...What we learn in the session is kick kick here and punch punch there...Then, the ruigie thought the teacher dunno that she keep curi tulang ...haiyoo...Dear ruigie, you cant hide your pig's body de ok.trust me...dont be lazy pls...Then, somemore the alice pretending like very hardworking lolz.hahaz....But she better than ruigie lolz..then, me is the most lazy pig for sure..But the teacher wont bother me anyway because face problem..lolz..Another case is, I dunno what is in my face that make ruigie keep laughing like crazy pig..haiyooo..be serious a bit la..May be I will wear a mask next session..hahaz..We have to be serious , if not the teacher will chase us out of the class...ok...

Today I bath GIGI..My daugther..haiyooooo....damn naugthy de..Make me sweat lolz...keep shaking here and there..then when using hair dryer, she trying to jump away..haiz...Do there any easier ways to bath her??? really nees help from professional..But anyway, I love her so much..She is so cute when eating, running, playing and everything but not when beating..lolz...hahaz...

About me...I cant describe what is the situation now..But I feel that I am chagging again, anyway, I wont bother how am I now..hahaz..coz no one going to care about that too..so do I...I cant live without Jay's song..It is really touch my heart..Currently, I love the most is "Shuo Hao De xing fu ne?" It is singing what I am thinking and feeling..Damn meaningful..and I really afraid of the lonely feeling..The music will be with me every single second when I am alone..I like to turn on very very loud when I am alone in the car, it make me feel like I am also in the music..It's really enjoy..Today, I went to east coast and pass through one optical shop..I am thinking that he said he love that spec..I am thinking about him somemore..How can I run away from the stupid world..I am pretending to be very busy and happy everytime..but how long can I do that...I started to feel tired of it..I hate myself..I wanna be good girl...pls, allow me to do that..I am confusing now...I dunno how should I be..should I just do what ever I want to make me happy??Will I really get the truly happiness ?? anyway, I think I should not think too much..I should get out from the stupid world in the shortest time..God bless me...hehez...

Just came back from TC, went there for nasi lemak lolz..hahaz..saw few "GIRLS" that is so so "PRETTY"..blekz...hahaz... but actually is boy lolz..they cut off their banana to be gal..lolz..Tomorrow is another tired day for me...coaching again for the whole day..hahaz..So, I have to go find Jay's grandfather lolz...Nite friends..DEAR ALICE AND RUIGIE..love ya so much o..

Yog@....

2008-11-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

Best friend........................................

We organize a farewell party for Mr,Jayan...He going to leave us soon..He will back to India on Friday....I am going to miss him like crazy...He is a very good lecturer, he like to do lot of reading, he has a lot of examples...It is actually very boring to listen to all such examples, but it actually help us a lot in exam..Thank you so much, Dear Mr.Jayan...he help me a lot in completing my assignment..He has a lot of ideas, I respect him...His brain is full of Knowledge...not Worms.haha..I wish Mr jayan will remember me forever and ever..I love him so much...God bless you...

After the party, We went for Yoga class together...haha..first time...Me, Dear Alice and Dear pig ruigie....Yoga is actually very difficult thing for me....Stretch here and there until whole body feel damn damn damn tired...haha...At first, when we start to warm up..the yoga's teacher do lot of the silly action..haha..shaking the ass and all that..then I just follow what she doing, The ruigie lookingat me and keep laughing...haha...damn..She cant even control her emotion..But it is really fun ...I feel very happy to be with both of my best friend...Family is my first choice, then will be my best friends...I actually treat them like my family member...I love them so much..I wish they feel it..I hope to be with them forever...

My youngest brother went kl for badminton competition..I pass the letter and somthing for my uncle ...I need him to pass it to him...I dunno what he will think after read that..Today I am quiet happy..but then also missing him lolz..I will give 50 marks for today...coz...I be with the busy boy for few hours..haha...Actually I still have a lot of questions, and feel to tell in the letter but I think it is useless to tell all of that ..He is so stupid de till dunno wat I am telling..Nevermind...Take it easy..hahahazzz..Today I saw Aaron in studio..We have few mins conversation...He is actually very cute...He look very tired today, he need more rest lolz...hope he rest well and take good care of himself ya...gambateh in work too...

huh..feel sleepy already...because of the yoga..make me feel bad..haha..It is good also la...so that I can sleep well and tight...Nite nite friend...miss ya so much yop....

today's life...

2008-11-04T07:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday nite was busying with dear alice so din post a blog..I feel so happy to chat with her sister, I will not think too much when chatting with her, no pressure too...I can feel the truly hapiness..Anyway, I actually very scared to post blog yesterday because I get very low mark for yesterday...Is just pass, 40 marks...Because I am thinking too much..till get headache...

Today I feel very happy to see my grandma getting better..she able to scold me somemore..haha..laughing like crazy..she ask about him...she ask why he din come for long time...Then i tell her the truth...she look sad..i explain to her ...may be i will call him to come to see my grandma, but just dunno how to open my mouth..I hope may be he can spent some time to come to see her..she getting old...and I Just wan to do what she wan...I hope she feel happy and smile every single second..

so, today...I will give myself 50 marks..i wrote a letter for him...I dunno what will he feel after read it..anyway, it truly from my heart...and it may be will be the very last time..hehez..everything will go back to zero soon..I can concentrate on otherelse...which he will not look at me too...haha..he always busy..but no one know what he actually busy at...other than that, I am now busy in planning our kl and genting trip too...happy to plan tat...I really hope all of them can go and have fun together..it must be damn fun and happy..haha..hope the time pass faster..I need to watch drama with my lovely mum now...so stop here...Missing someone so much...Nitez....

tiring day....

2008-11-02T09:11:00.000-08:00

I hate sunday...It drive me crazy..extremely tired of coaching and also shopping, haha...it is quiet late now, I just done Ruigie's assignment and watching to the live badminton match..I am confusing on something else..secret...i dunno how to handle my feeling and thought..may be it is uncontrollable, but is ok la coz I am not going to control it..let it flow in my brain, heart and every part of body lolz..

My secret sweet guy in my life, Joe...I am missing him so much now...he is a nice and sweet man..I missing the time when we spent together, I kept deeply in my little heart...He is always there for me whenever I am sad or happy..haha..dont misunderstood..he is already married..he treat me as his daughter...I am so sorry to swept him away for few months, I got my own reasons...pls forgive me on that ok...Dear Joe, I am so sorry bout tat...

Today, my mum told me to call him and tell him to separate my fon line with his one..hmm...I ask my mum to call him by herself..But i dunno she will do that or not..I dunno how to tell by myself..This make me think of him again..so I am not in a very good mood now, but luckily need to focus on RuiGie asignment so I dont have much time to think about that...The mark that i can give myself is 55% for today..I am not happy with that..hate hate..I have to work harder to get higher marks..anyways, I can feel the care from my parents..I love them so much...Lastly, I have to pray for my grandma again...Pls help her...God...bless her...

I need to go bed now..tomorrow have ITSM class to attend on 9.30 am..damn early lolz...hope my dear dear Alice can wake me up..thank first ya...Nite everyone...wish nite to him too..and sweet dream...hope to hear from you...take care...

I had a BAD day..

2008-11-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

Today is Jeremy's birthday..Happy birthday to you...so sorry that i got no time to buy you a present..I wish all your dreams will some true ..

My grandma enter hospital again ..I really feel very very down to look at her weak face..When I look inside her eyes, I can feel that she is very sad and painful..I feel like crying..but I have to be strong in front of her, I need to have energy to think of some jokes to make her smile..I am tired tired tired...Can someone just lend me his or her shoulder for me...I need someone to beside me now..I have to be stronger to against my grandma's virus..what the hell is in her body, how come the doctor haven check it out...??? I am now missing my grandma so much, and feel to go hospital to see her, but she is in the govenrment hospital so i cant simply go in..haiz...I need to pray for my grandma, Please ..God can you help her?? I love her so much, and I wan a happy and healthy grandma...I dont wan to see her in pain and the sad face, I will feel so so so extremely sad sad sad...

Today i did very poor in my feeling...I will give myself 50 marks..I feel so moody so need someone to talk to, then i think about him again...Then, my daddy's friend, chasel called me and ask about the racket, he asked me about him again..Then, just now i went to my player's(Chia yee)'s house, her dad ask about him again again..I tell all of them the truth...then I keep on thinking the past..I know i should not think that already, but I cant control my thinking very well..I need more time to let go...I hope tomorrow I will get higher marks..lolz..haha...

And now I am missing my dear dear Alice so damn much..din see her for one day only, but I feel that is already 1 week time..haha...And mr.wei hong...He will back tomorrow lolz..So excited to see all of them in monday...haha..This month is the saving and dieting month for me, alice and ruigie..haha...3 fatty dum dum girl wanna save for Dec vacation..dear friends, we gambateh together ya..haha..dont break the promise wor..I think I have to come out some rules and regulations for this month..For those who break the promise then have to pay for the bus ticket..haha..is about money again, so I think we will not simply break the rules...it is very expensives punishment lolz..haha...Tommorow have to wake up early in the morning to coaching again, is another tiring day for me..That is a good way for me to stop thinking too..Stop here to continue my drama and on my way to find Jay's grandpa(zhou gong)..haha..nite nite and have a sugar dream ya..love u guys...

New Lif3

2008-10-29T02:22:00.000-07:00

This is my very first blog without him...I am working very hard to let go everything that i had it before...Love is a very complicated case that no one can define it...I really hate those feeling, I afraid with the word love..I am wrong, and i should let go and i regret....I actually trust him, and i believe that he will do everything for me becasue he promise me..But now only I know actually we do not really need to do what ever we promise, we can actually simple break the promise..This is what i learn from this relationship..thank lot..As a conclusion for me, do not trust what ever the boy promise and do not trust love..love is just a nice word to spell...He is still like a small kid..Why dont he change for me..This is why our relationship will stop..And i have to slowly walk out from your world, and how about you?? Dont simply falling in love with someone , ok?? This is extremely dangeruos...

I am walking out of your world...It is so difficult but I think I can make it because I am so lucky to have few best friends be with me..The first one will be my dear dear, Alice...she is very cute and nice gal, but her brain full of worms..Second will be our piggy, RuiGie..she is very kind, but sometime you do not know what she thinking, one good example is she print the whole assignment without the cover page...hahaha...The third one will be my gor gor, wei hong..hmm, he is just too cute for me, but he will not pick up his fon for the whole day...haha...very very busy ...Then will be Steven, which is a vegetarian boy...he like sms so much, but only sms Alice lolz...Next will be the Mr.Choo..which is RuiGie boy boy...I feel so happy to know them...Sometime I felt that the god is unfair..God take away all my love one...But sometime I have to thank god because the god willing to give me all this friends..I love them very much..

I need help from the god..I really hope the god will not take away my grandma...My grandma is very weak, and cant even walk for few steps...sleep less, eat less, talk less...I am so worry about her and also my mum...My mum is very worry about her till cried for few times...I really hope that the god will give the super energy for my grandma and make her younger...I love her so much than I think...

Today morning have Academic English class, damn boring...Keep writing letter only..haiz....After that, we went to a secret place to do a secret thing...haha...have a long conversation with a crazy girl..she keep introduce Aaron to me..and telling that Aaron is very good boy and also quiet rich..what a funny girl?? I hope that she will not take any action lolz..if not i am going to wack her..The god will arrange everything for the human, so not we decide what to do ok....but of course we have to work very hard for our future..haha..

Now is very late dy..I am so happy that I did not have any lonely feeling for tonight..I give myself 65 marks..It is quiet low, because the stupid Alice keep holding the hair dryer and talk talk talk ...that make me think about him..so deduct some mark for that...haha...gambateh ya..Good night, sin lan..hehe...have a very sweet dream ya..